This recipe is good enough to serve to guests. It’s good enough to include even though it has actual measurements. And we don’t measure ingredients lightly. Or at all—we include a cheat underneath.

Core Ingredients

• ½ cup sugar
• ½ cup cocoa powder
• 3 Tbsp. cornstarch
• 2 cups water

Here’s the thing. You can do this as ratios. For every 1 measure of cornstarch, add 3 of sugar, 3 of cocoa and 12 of water. This works no matter whether you use a tablespoon, or a cup, or a leftover cream-cheese tub as your measure. However, if you use a cup measure for your ratios, you’ll need a very large bowl to hold the 19 cups of stuff.

Preparation

• Stir together the dry ingredients (everything besides the water).
• Add the water.
• More stir.
• Microwave for 1 minute then stir.
• Repeat until it’s pudding.
• Put it in the fridge.
• Ideally wait until it gets to fridge temperature to eat it, but we don’t judge. But it will taste even better. Promise.

Bottom-Tier

• You can use instant hot chocolate powder instead of a mix of sugar and cocoa. It might only work with specific brands of instant powder; we haven’t tested it with every brand ever invented. In fact, we tested it only with the absolute cheapest store-brand instant hot chocolate powder, but the important thing is that it worked.

God-Tier

• Substitute milk or milk equivalent instead of water.
• Defrost frozen fruit. Add it to the pudding when it’s done.
• Add fresh fruit to the pudding when it’s done.

A note for our British friends: In Canada, pudding is a slightly thicker version of custard. We know that it means “any dessert” in your country. Your country has a lot to answer for already.